The Lighthouse Keeper's Lunch

Once she had prepared the lunch, she packed it into a special basket and clipped it onto the wire that ran from the little white cottage to the lighthouse on the rocks. But one Monday something terrible happened. Misses grinling had prepared a particularly appetizing lunch. She had made a mixed seafood salad. A lighthouse sandwich. Cold chicken garni. Sausages and crisps. Peach surprise. I see biscuits, drinks and assorted fruit. She puts the lunch in the basket as usual and sent it down the wire. But the lunch did not arrive. It was spotted by three scavenging seagulls who set upon it and devoured it with great Gusto. Clear after you vomit, shouted mister grinling. But the seagulls took not the slightest notice. This is an excellent peach surprise boys. She's a great cook Fred. Scrumptious Tom. That evening, mister and misses grinling decided on a plan to baffle the seagulls. Tomorrow, I shall tie the napkin to the basket, said misses grinling. Of course my dear agreed mister grinling, a sound plan. They have to try harder than this to stop the spurt. 

On Tuesday evening, mister and misses grinling racked their brains for another plan. They are a brazen lot those sea gulls, said misses grinling, brazen indeed, said mister greenling, what shall we do? Our cat does not appear to like seagulls, said misses grinling. No my dear, said mister greenling. Hamish is an accomplished seagull chaser. Of course exclaimed misses grinling. Tomorrow, Hamish can guard the lunch. A most ingenious plan agreed mister grinling. Hamish did not think that this plan was ingenious at all. He spat and hissed as misses grinling secured him into the basket. There there, Hamish, said misses grinling, consoling. I'll have a tasty piece of herring waiting for you when you arrive home. Sadly, flying did not agree with Hamish. His first stood on end when the basket swayed, his whiskers drooped when he peered down at the wet blue sea, and he felt much too sick, even to notice the seagulls, let alone scare them away from the lunch. Like a piece of lobster morning. This food gets better every day, Fred. Aren't you going to chase us pussy? Like a day like a day said mister greenling sadly. Meow. Meow. 

A great Hamish pitifully on Wednesday evening, mister and misses grinling racked their brains again for a new plan. What shall we do? Said mister grinling. Misses grinling looked thoughtful. I have it, she exclaimed. Just the mixture for hungry seagulls. Indeed, my dear, said mister greenlee, what have you in mind? Wait and see, said misses grinling, just wait and see. Mustard sandwiches, chuckled mister grinling, a truly superb plan, my dear, truly superb. On Thursday morning, misses grinling carefully patched the mustard sandwiches and sent them off down the wire to the expectancy seagulls. Yuck. On Friday, misses grinling repeated the mustard mixture. All right boys, let's go and have our lunch elsewhere. It's the same as yesterday's lunch Fred. 

So, on Saturday, up in the little white cottage on the cliffs, a jubilant misses grinling put away the mustard pot before she prepared a scrumptious lunch for mister grinling. While he waited for his lunch down in the lighthouse on the rocks, mister grinling sang snatches of old sea shanties as he surveyed the coastline through his telescope. And this is what he saw. No mustard in this lock Tom. We'll fly back here again for lunch again tomorrow boys. This is a delicious chocolate eclair Fred. Our well, such is life mused mister grinling as he sat down to enjoy a leisurely lunch in the warm sunshine.