The Book With No Pictures, By B.J. Novak

Hi, everybody. It's with catcher again with another book. This is the book with no pictures by B. J. Novak. This will be easier because I can just read it and I won't have to show you any pictures. Let's get started. This is a book with no pictures. It might seem like no fun to have someone read you a book with no pictures. It probably seems boring and serious, except here's how books work. Everything the words say, the person reading the book has to say. No matter what. That's the deal. That's the rule. So that means even if the words say blark, wait, what that doesn't even mean anything. Wait a second. What? This isn't the kind of book I wanted to read, and I have to say every word the book says. I am a monkey who taught myself to read. I'm not a monkey. And now I'm reading this book with my monkey mouth and my monkey voice. That's not true. I'm not a monkey. Yes, I am a monkey. Also, I'm a robot monkey. What? And my head is made of blueberry pizza. Wait a second. Is this whole book a trick? Can I stop reading now, please? No. And now it's time for you to sing me to sing you my favorite song. A song? Do I have to really sing it? My face is a bug. I eat ants for breakfast right off the rug. What? This book is ridiculous. Can I stop reading yet? No. There are more pages I have to read the rest? My only friend of the whole wide world is a hippo named boo boo butt. Boo boo butt? Also, the kids are reading this book to are the best kids ever in the history of the entire world. Really? These kids are the smartest kids too because these kids go to spooky even though it has no pictures because kids know that this is the book that makes growing up say silly things. And make silly sounds like here comes a work of work and thinking back again. Oh my goodness. Please don't ever make me read this book again. It is so silly. In fact, it is completely and utterly preposterous. Next time please choose a book with pictures. Please, because this book is too ridiculous to read. The end bonk. I didn't want to say that. Bye.