Pa Kettle Teaches Math

I figured seventy-five percent to you, Panama. And twenty-five percent divided between the five of us ? Yedap, Crowbar, myself, Tom, and the baby. That makes five percent for each one of us.
Uh, uh, uh! Billy, you?re cheating yourself. If there?s twenty-five percent divided among the five of you, that?s fourteen percent a piece.
Oh, no. Listen, Pa. I wouldn?t cheat you. You know I wouldn?t. Now look. Look here. Let me show you. Let me rub this out here. Twenty-five divided by five is five. You see, five won?t go into two, won?t it? No. But five goes into twenty-five five times, you see?
No, no. You?re wrong, Billy. Now, now, I?m a pretty good mathematician. Now, five into twenty-five. Five won?t go into two.
No.
But, five goes into five once. Now, we didn?t use the two before, so we put it down here. Now, five into twenty goes four times. There you are. Five into twenty-five, fourteen.
No. Look, Pa. Let me prove it to you now by multiplication. Five times five is twenty-five.
Really? I?m surprised you?re learnin?.
Huh?
I?m surprised that you?re learnin?. Now, I?ll show you. Five times fourteen is twenty-five. Five times four is twenty. Five times one is five. Twenty-five. That?s it!
No, no. Look, Ma. See, look, you?re wrong there because? I?ll prove it to you. We?ll put down five fourteens here. Fourteen, fourteen, fourteen, there. Now, I?ll prove it to you by addition. That five fourteens is not twenty-five. Four, eight, twelve, sixteen, twenty?
Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five. There you are. Better brush up, Billy. I don?t want to see you boys cheated.